It’s a metaphor for the whole campaign. Ed Balls’ desert island discs are the coolest. No question.

But they’ve come too late. Even the shouting is over. The avalanche of taste-esteem that will engulf the shadow education secretary this afternoon cannot save him from electoral oblivion. Not even the hardcore Labourista’s luxury of choice can save him now.

Nobody is surprised that he has turned out to have an immense appetite and aptitude for the brutal business of opposition. Less predictable was the warmth and “normalness” which was reported in the second half of his campaign.

Had it been a six month campaign, Ed Balls would have done better. But three was too long already.

On St Helena, he would have had Dolly Parton’s astonishing voice, Elvis Presley’s unabating coolness, Billy Bragg’s best song and Bach’s most difficult violin piece to console him. Which might have been quite nice.

In real life, whoever wins will expect Ed to do most of the work.

Elvis Presley – ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love’ – (live, Madison Square Gardens 1972)

Joshua Redman – ‘Blues for Pat’ (Wish)

Herbert Howells – ‘Like as the hart’ (St Paul’s cathedral choir, Hyperion)

Spandau Ballet – ‘True’ (12″ version)

Bach – Partita No. 2 in D Minor for violin – Itzhak Perlman, EMI

Dolly Parton – ‘I will always love you’

Handel – Ariodante Act 3, ‘Dopo Notte atra e funesta’ (Janet Baker, Philips)

Billy Bragg – ‘Saturday Boy’

Luxury: Karaoke machine

Book: Swallows and Amazons – Arthur Ransome

Film: Some Like it Hot