Posts Tagged ‘geeks’

Cameron’s bullies are bossing the common room

17/05/2011, 07:54:21 AM

by Dan Hodges

Thank god for David Willetts. And Michael Gove. Raise  a glass to Andrew Lansley. If they had half the political nous of David Cameron and George Osborne, the Labour party would be toast. Dead as a Lib Dem parrot. Or whatever that strange bird is they have as a logo.

The Tory front bench is basically two gangs. The Bullies and the Geeks. George Osborne is chief bully. He goes to bed every night dreaming about how he’s going to get up in the morning, whack the country on the nose and nick its pocket money. He tells us all he’s doing it to toughen us up. But really, he does it because he enjoys it.

His sidekick is Eric Pickles. A rough northern lad, Eric likes nothing better than picking on southern softies. During local election night, his victim was Sadiq Khan. “You were supposed to win a thousand seats. How many have you got, Saddo”? Sadiq looked like he just wanted to run home to mummy.

Then there are the brainy kids. David Willetts has such a big brain it won’t all fit in his head. Like the universe, his skull is actually expanding, and at a  rate so fast, his hair can’t catch up. Michael Gove is also super-intelligent. But while Willetts comes across as a friendly boffin, Gove retains a vaguely sinister air. In fact, he looks a bit like the Nazi in Raider’s of the Lost Ark who has that artifact burnt into his hand. Andy Burnham should ask to check next time they’re at the dispatch box.


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Saturday News Review

17/07/2010, 09:51:43 AM
The great survivor 

Leadership candidates call on Mandelson to exit stage left

In interviews with The Times, the candidates – David Miliband, his brother Ed and Andy Burnham – suggested it is time for the peer to leave the political stage. David Miliband, former foreign secretary, said Lord Mandelson’s book The Third Man is “destructive and self-destructive” and should have come “after retirement, not before…”. Ed Miliband, the former climate change secretary, said the peer is “his own worst spin doctor” and had “offended just about everyone”. He said: “I think this is sad and damaging to Peter, not just to the Labour Party”, adding: “It’s time for a new generation.” Mr Burnham, who was health secretary in the last Labour government, said: “Peter loves the spotlight but it’s time to leave the stage.” – Press Association.

Mr Campbell, victim of a coded kicking in the book, had counterstruck this very day, in this very newspaper, by calling Mandelson a liar, or manager, over an arcane point regarding the Lib-Lab coalition talks he attended. But then he’s one of so many, Mr Blair in the vanguard, to have put the boot in. Having so little experience of internecine strife, this must all be terribly painful for you. “It’s not the end of my world,” says the Gloria Gaynor of British politics laconically, as his taxi draws to its halt. “I will survive.” – The Telegraph.

Balls acknowledged that both men in their different ways are in fact tribal Labour and powerfully described a “commonality” between the two. “Putting that big issue aside, Peter was Labour and I was Labour, we wanted the government to succeed, we wanted to win the election, Peter and I were always the people who, at key moments, were willing to go out and defend the government. I was never part of any plotting and I don’t think anyone suggests Peter particularly was. We were both, as we saw it, trying to do the right thing and doing the right thing meant coming together. We were more effective than we would have been opposing each other; just not effective enough sadly.” – The New Statesman.


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