la Repubblica, Italy’s second biggest selling daily, was so excited to learn that the Ashfield MP Gloria de Piero (who has Italian heritage) has been voted the sexiest female Parliamentarian that they have a special photo feature on the Bradford born ex-journalist.

With the ballot now open to elect the new shadow cabinet, an Italian is just what is needed in the PLP.

Perhaps PLP secretary, Martin O’Donovan, could ask Ms de Piero to perform Antonello Venditti’s desperate stadium lament, Ci vorrebbe un amico, at the formal announcement of the shadow cabinet election results.

Venditti wrote the song for the Italian shadow cabinet elections of 1981. Two years later, a socialist prime minister, Bettino Craxi, finally took office in Italy. But the ’81 shadow cabinet elections were a low point of skullduggery and misery.

Venditti’s sense of grief and desperation, the mix of love and hate for one’s colleagues is universal among ambitious politicians. This wooden translation gives an idea of the turmoil next week’s 30 British shadow cabinet losers can expect.

Living with you became a rough game
Ok, you won, the rest is just life.
In this story of ours, I am the one going down.
I need a friend
to be able to forget you.
I need a friend
to forget the bad.
I need a friend
in pain and in regret.
Love, illogical love, desperate love.
See, I am crying, but I have forgiven you.
And if I loved [for] nothing, love, my love, forgive
in this cold night all I need is one word.
But living with you was a tough match
it was a tough fight, regardless of how it ended
but maybe because of the magic night or just the emotion
I find myself again at your door.

At least the shadow cabinet losers will have the sexiest female member of the mother of parliaments to sing them this comfort from the home country.