As the contest drags on heats up, the candidates are spending more and more time together. The hustings roll on, with many more to come, before the coronation at party conference. The teams behind the candidates are busy at work. Some teams are bigger than others. Some teams are busier than others.

Uncut has learned that in team Big Miliband headquarters there is a motivational collage to keep the worker bees on task.

Mounted on one wall of the campaign office there are pictures of all Labour’s leaders in chronological order – from Hardie to Attlee to Blair and Gordon Brown. After big Gordy, the final picture in the sequence is – not Big Miliband.

No, the final picture is on weekly rotation: Abbott, Balls, Burnham and Ed Miliband take it in turns to be the anti-employee of the month. The awful consequence of the slavish devotees failing to tweet faster, knock harder and stuff longer than any of the other candidates’ teams.

Underneath the D Milibandistas apocolyptic vision of the future sits the word that will save them from it: “FOCUS”.

We have been told that the office is at its most productive on the weeks when the image of little Miliband finishes the sequence, but this has not been confirmed.

Tags: David Miliband, Ed Miliband, team miliband

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