Chris Kelly and the young game cockerel: caption contest

The Conservative MP for the seat of Dudley South is the millionaire heir to the Keltruck haulage fortune, Chris Kelly.

After barely two months in Parliament, he took the opportunistic photo intervention to new places on 16 July.

Some small children having “found a young game cockerel”, Kelly turned up at their school with his camera to rescue the situation. His press release tells us that he “enjoyed showing the cockerel to the reception class and went to lengths to explain to the children his knowledge of chickens.”

The man is a genius.

One Conservative colleague described him as “the most self-promoting man, including all politicians, that I have ever seen”.

We must not let him out of our sight.

In the meantime, what is Chris saying to the young game cockerel, or vice versa?

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25 Responses to “Chris Kelly and the young game cockerel: caption contest”

  1. Dave says:

    ‘You’re a cock’

  2. George Murray says:

    Sorry, but how can a constituency be a ‘Labour seat’ if the MP is conservative?

  3. Ian says:

    Erm… How can you it be a labour seat with a Tory MP? Entitlement mentality or denial. Which is it?

  4. les says:

    “Conservative MP for the Labour seat” – labour did lose didn’t they?

  5. Chuzzumped says:

    Oh please – stop with the “Conservative MP for the Labour seat of Dudley South” comments. As you ALL well know Labour DID NOT (I repeat did not) lose the election, because the conservatives did not win it. Its very logical, just as when you are in debt, you should borrow more to get out of debt.

  6. Socialist says:

    Conservative MP for the Labour seat of Dudley South? Tallk about a sense of entitlement, you have just demonstrated the sense of entitlement that lost our party the election.

  7. Fred says:

    Oh please! Labour seat? Who is the joker that writes this stuff? Are you stupid, ignorant or both?

    Its people like you that give us decent Labour folk a bad name.

  8. Stalin says:

    All seats are Labour seats. It’s not the votes that count, it’s who counts the votes.

    Especially postal votes…

  9. Evie Lennon says:

    The arrogance of the Labour Party knows no bounds. A sense of entitlement? Didn’t the people of this once great Country have a sense of entitlement when the Labour Party got into office 13 years ago to expect them not to leave the country bankrupt [as they have done each time they’ve been booted out]. They treated us like the caption above – a great big joke!

  10. Evie Lennon says:

    I’ve been ‘moded’ for saying the Labour Party treat us like idi*ts. Free speech? I don’t think so. Cheers Labour!

  11. Roger says:

    Class hatred is amusing to watch. I wonder why the Tories don’t add THAT to the “equalities commission” brief. In their position I would, and you could enjoy worrying about the police when you post, just as Tories have to.

    As for this MP, he may be rich. But he’s surely not as rich as Polly Toynbee, with her three houses in London and her husband with a 6-figure salary, that’s for sure.

    Nor as rich as all those Labour cabinet ministers became.

  12. Lee says:

    Oh go find a sense of humour… The comment is sound and shows a good attitude!

    The only stupid part of this is the “is the millionaire heir to the Keltruck haulage fortune”. Insulting a man due to an accident of his birth (yes it is intented to stir up hatred, therefore insulting), does that mean I can all Labour MPs with regional accents “Oiks” and make jokes about them being conceived in a coal mine?

    Actually thinking about it, most of the Labour MPs (or ex MPs, Lord “Jabba” Prescott anyone?) are millionaires as well. Maybe we can start a fad amongst bloggers and ensure that whenever a Labour MP is mentioned, his net worth should also be mentioned in the same or proceeding sentence.

  13. Tom says:

    Presumably, the person posting this has missed out the word ‘former’ in that sentence. Easy mistake to make. Looks bad though.

  14. andrew says:

    Chuzzumped was written the craziest comment i have ever read anywhere:

    “Oh please – stop with the “Conservative MP for the Labour seat of Dudley South” comments. As you ALL well know Labour DID NOT (I repeat did not) lose the election, because the conservatives did not win it. Its very logical, just as when you are in debt, you should borrow more to get out of debt.”


  15. Guardianista says:

    andrew – makes perfect sence to me, we should borrow borrow borrow spend spend spend – it is how we should build the socialist jerusalem. No public spending cuts.

  16. No Lee, it doesn’t mean you can call everybody with a regional accent an oik and claim they were conceived in a coal mine. As you may or may not know, many people, perhaps even most people, who have regional accents were not conceived in coal mines, whilst ‘oik’ is a mild term of abuse. So you’d be insinuating an untruth and making a bizarre and distinctly outdated slur.

    Chris Kelly, on the other hand, is the heir to the Keltruck haulage fortune.

    You see the distinction? One is true, whereas the other is just a little bit deranged. Does that clear things up?

    That said, if you want to refer to every Labour MP by their net worth, don’t let me stop you. I’m all for strange and quixotic campaigns…

  17. Guardianista says:

    or elite oxbridge educated middle class home counties Carlsson Brown?

  18. Lee says:

    Edward Carlsson Browne, thank you. It’s good to know I still have the knack at making socialists go red with class rage and render them incapable of recognising a “reductio ad ridiculum”

    kind regards

    An Oxbridge Educated, Durham Mining Village born and bred Oik (my mam says I was conceived down the shipyards in Sunderland)

  19. Tarquin says:

    Labour MPs have regional accents now?

    I’m liking how virtually all the comments have come here for fun – me too

    If it’s supposed to be humour, it’s sh*te, as the pouring of scorn after it just makes you look like a poor loser with a sense of entitlement that you lot are supposed to be against

  20. Will says:

    Shock! MP visits consistency and takes a photograph!

    I suggest you look at any Member of Parliament’s website

  21. Edward Carlsson Browne says:

    Have you considered the use of verbs? It really improves sentences and makes them, you know, sentences. Nouns help also.

    As it is, I can’t understand if you’re criticising me, criticising Labour politicians or just typing a google search for an Abingdon private school into the wrong window. Let’s have some clarity in the personal attacks. That’s all I’m asking.

    P.S. Yes, I am Oxbridge-educated, middle class and hailing from the Home Counties (although I’m not sure about elite). What exactly is your point about this?

  22. Scott says:

    what is all the fuss about an MP having money. How much money does Blair have now? You guys need to grow up.

  23. Elliot says:

    So, children, this is a chicken which under the Labour Government would have been killed and made into a chicken pie for Lord Fatscott of Pies.

  24. Why class rage? I’m annoyingly middle class (or annoying and middle class if you prefer to view these as unconnected attributes) so I’m hardly going to be able to come over all working-class hero on this. Besides, can anybody really feel rage at being called an oik? Maybe the usage differs in your part of Britain, but I’ve always heard it used as a word with no more venom than, for example, bumpkin.

    No, I just think it was a terrible attempt at a reductio ad absurdum. If you were going for that, you should have stuck with the idea of stating the net worth of all Labour MPs. I rather like that idea, in fact. Forbes could run it as a rich list during a slow week.

  25. Holly says:

    aye up cock.

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