Posts Tagged ‘chris kelly’

The week Uncut

22/01/2011, 02:00:45 PM

In case you missed them, these were the best read pieces on Uncut in the last seven days:

Uncut brings you the Johnson resignation and Balls promotion

Alan Johnson for the life and for the leaving of it – bravo!

Alex Hilton claims only electoral reform can save democracy in his Uncut debut

Dan Hodges thinks the NHS reforms are Cameron’s operation Barbarossa

Tom Harris’ frank open letter to the boss (Ed not Bruce)

Tory MP and all round comedy character Chris Kelly hits back at Cry baby jibes

John Spellar wants Labour to worry about the real middle

The Uncut editorial: neither Cameron nor Coulson are the real story

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Cry baby Chris Kelly hits back with peace-loving-fighting-talk

20/01/2011, 11:30:49 AM

“Man’s inhumanity to man and genocide is what makes me cry, not prime ministers” – Chris Kelly MP, in all seriousness.

Uncut’s favourite Tory backbencher, the publicity hungry Chris Kelly jnr, was in the news again at the weekend. This time it was the Mail on Sunday’s turn to find a Kelly gem, reporting that the gaffe prone MP had cried his eyes out after receiving the hair dryer treatment from the PM.

Young Kelly jnr was said to be more terrified of his anti EU sugar daddy than of the Tory whips – deciding to side with his dad over the PM on a crucial vote on the EU bill. The Mail reported:

“A Tory Euro rebel MP was reportedly reduced to tears after being caught in the crossfire between his millionaire father and a furious David Cameron over a vote to stop Brussels gaining more power overNumber Plate Britain… amid reports that he was more terrified of upsetting his father, Tory donor Chris Kelly senior – a leading Thatcherite with robust views on Brussels – than his party leader.  Mr Kelly junior was paid about £4,000 a month last year for eight hours of work for his father’s truck dealership. It tops up his MP’s pay of £65,000 and helped him acquire a £30,000 BMW coupe, with his initials CDK on the number plate.”

But young Kelly Jnr hit back with a totally bizarre attempt at bravado in his local paper the Dudley News yesterday. Torn between trying to beef up his hard man image while still demonstrating his sensitive side, he said:

“Man’s inhumanity to man and genocide is what makes me cry, not prime ministers”.

Wow. Say wow. What a line. The Fonz would be proud of that one. It sounds more like it came straight out of the ‘gap yah’ seduction book than the mouth of a wannabe “serious politician”. One thing is for sure, Kelly isn’t using his extra income to fund a press officer.

Thankfully, Patrick Harley, the old pro spokesman for (Tory) Dudley council, was on hand to help clear up the cry baby confusion, saying:

“It’s absolutely not true that he was in tears. Even if he was, which he wasn’t, he still would vote for what he thought was right”.

Thanks Patrick. Crystal.

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Tory MP gets £4,000 pocket money a month from his Dad (for 8 hours work)

18/11/2010, 11:00:16 AM

Uncut’s favourite Tory backbencher, Chris Kelly, is bringing in an extra £2- 4k a month on top of his MP’s salary for doing just 8 hours work for his Dad’s haulage company.

Mr Kelly, 32, who is listed as a “non-executive director” on the company’s website registered the payments in members’ interests as:

Salary payment of £4,166 gross for May 2010. Hours: 8 hrs. (Registered 21 July 2010)

Salary payment of £4,166 gross for June 2010. Hours: 8 hrs. (Registered 21 July 2010)

Salary payment of £2.083.84 gross for July 2010. Hours: 8 hrs. (Registered 25 August 2010)

Salary payment of £2,083.84 gross for August 2010. Hours: 8 hrs. (Registered 25 August 2010)

Earlier this year David Cameron clamped down on Tory front benchers’ second jobs, ordering them to give them up, but it hasn’t stopped the Tory back bencher from pulling in a pro rata salary of over £20,000 a week.

As well as a biography and press release about young Chris, the company website also has pictures of him with Tory grandees including David Cameron, John Major and Maggie Thatcher.

He is as bright as a button. We’ve already heard about his extensive knowledge of chickens, so perhaps that’s why he’s worth over £500 an hour? It makes it even more remarkable that he needed to email other Tory MPs begging them to find a job for his sister.

HT goes to the Mail on Sunday who note: A perfect slogan for Tory MPs: We’re all (rolling) in it together.

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Down the pub with the Labour leadership contenders

02/09/2010, 03:16:46 PM

On Monday the Mirror’s James Lyons had a brilliant interview with the leadership candidates. If you haven’t read it, you should. It’s here. If you are a Labour member, please, please read it before you vote.

We inferred from the attempts at ridiculous clever answers to almost every question that this was a set of questions emailed to the candidates rather than done on the spot. We asked, and it was a mix.  See the David Miliband tattoo callback, which only works if you know what the next question is going to be. Very clever. Not very funny.

The answers are absolute gold. And one set of them really stood out. The candidates were asked:

“Which four people, real or fictional, would you most like to go down the pub with?”

This is the Mirror’s more socialist version of the ultimate dinner party question: “which 6 people dead or alive would you have at your dinner party?”


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Chris Kelly and the young game cockerel: caption contest

25/08/2010, 10:29:17 AM

The Conservative MP for the seat of Dudley South is the millionaire heir to the Keltruck haulage fortune, Chris Kelly.

After barely two months in Parliament, he took the opportunistic photo intervention to new places on 16 July.

Some small children having “found a young game cockerel”, Kelly turned up at their school with his camera to rescue the situation. His press release tells us that he “enjoyed showing the cockerel to the reception class and went to lengths to explain to the children his knowledge of chickens.”

The man is a genius.

One Conservative colleague described him as “the most self-promoting man, including all politicians, that I have ever seen”.

We must not let him out of our sight.

In the meantime, what is Chris saying to the young game cockerel, or vice versa?

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