In a parallel universe, a Labour government is basking in the publication of a well-balanced legislative programme and getting on with the business of government after a decade-and-a-half in the political wilderness.

Alas, we dwell in the political equivalent of a skip fire. Is Labour still a serious party?

We will doubtless find out over coming days, but it’s worth scanning over yesterday’s King’s Speech to see what might have been.

‘Strengthening our economic security,’ with the nationalisation of the steel industry, a major new rail line connecting our key cities in northern England and a Bill to get closer to the European Union.

Then there’s ‘Ending the opportunity crisis,’ – long overdue reform to the leasehold system and a crackdown on chiselling ticket touts.

And three themes prefixed by the word ‘strengthening’ (a favourite Starmer term) ‘reforming the state,’ ‘energy security,’ and ‘national security.’

This is all decent Labour fayre – practical measures about the people’s priorities – and in less crazy times would be getting a positive write up.

The obvious point is that we are not in normal times, with Labour openly flirting with political obsolescence.

The other point is that which of the potential Starmer replacements would demur from the agenda set out yesterday?

A leadership contest where there are no policy differences of substance is the very definition of the ‘narcissism of small difference.

What a self-indulgent, conceited monster we have become! Barely two years into government Labour’s ages-old pathology towards regicide shows no sign of abating.

Given we may be weeks away from food shortages and fuel rationing, Labour’s timing in plunging itself into a nihilistic fug  merely hardens the voters’ impression that we have lost the plot and are incapable of addressing their problems.

In seeking to save their hides, panicking Labour MPs should consider the possibility that they  are actually offering them up.