Scandal! Peter Mandelson has told close friends that, contrary to reports, he has never been approached to appear on Strictly Come Dancing.
According to a close confidente of the granddaddy of the Labour movement, if Peter were to be invited to trip the lacquered boards he would readily accept.
This news directly contradicts assurances given to Uncut by the BBC that the dark lord of the dance had been given a chance to embrace his inner Widders.
Something here is amiss. Someone is being economical with the actualité.
Whom does one trust? Lord M, renowned the world over for his candour. Or the BBC? Less an aunty, these days, than a punch-drunk uncle.
Uncut is on the case. Our intrepid journalistic team will leave no stone unturned. We have a source close to the heart of the controversy. We shall call him Brucethroat. We will follow the sequins.
Uncut vows to get to the bottom of Strictlygate. There will be no whitewash at White City…