Posts Tagged ‘Strictly Come Dancing’

Ed Balls was a useless shadow chancellor

02/09/2016, 10:50:09 PM

by Kevin Meagher

‘You are only a man’ servants used to whisper in the ears of Roman generals to stop them believing their own hype on their triumphant return from battle.

It’s a pity no-one ever performed a similar service for Ed Balls.

The former shadow chancellor, who was unceremoniously ejected by the people of Morley and Outwood at the last election, is rematerializing into British politics, with a new book out about his life in politics and some unsolicited advice for the party.

The extracts show Balls for what he is: a clever and effective politician in many ways. Unfortunately for him, his curse is hubris.

His period as shadow chancellor under Ed Miliband was an unmitigated disaster for Labour.

Routinely 20 points behind Cameron and Osborne throughout the last parliament on questions of economic competence and trust, it was clear three years out from the election that the party was stone-cold dead on the economy.

His associations with the dog-days of Gordon Brown’s government meant Balls – so long his factotum at the Treasury – was an insane choice for the role.

He was a constant, corporeal reminder of Labour’s previous mistakes, which the party in government did so little to contextualise when it had the chance.

But he coveted the job when Alan Johnson, Miliband’s original shadow chancellor, quit. Pride got the better of him and he simply wasn’t slick enough to shake off previous form to win a second hearing.

At no point did he manage to alter the terms of political debate.

Labour spent too much and regulated too little. They didn’t fix the roof when the sun was shining. They maxed out the credit card. They have no long-term economic plan. The blows rained down on Labour’s reputation and Ed Balls was not equal to the task of rebutting them.


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Mandelson tells friends he would love to do Strictly

24/11/2010, 08:35:11 AM

Scandal! Peter Mandelson has told close friends that, contrary to reports, he has never been approached to appear on Strictly Come Dancing.

According to a close confidente of the granddaddy of the Labour movement, if Peter were to be invited to trip the lacquered boards he would readily accept.

This news directly contradicts assurances given to Uncut by the BBC that the dark lord of the dance had been given a chance to embrace his inner Widders.

Something here is amiss. Someone is being economical with the actualité.

Whom does one trust? Lord M, renowned the world over for his candour. Or the BBC? Less an aunty, these days, than a punch-drunk uncle.

Uncut is on the case. Our intrepid journalistic team will leave no stone unturned. We have a source close to the heart of the controversy. We shall call him Brucethroat. We will follow the sequins.

Uncut vows to  get to the bottom of Strictlygate. There will be no whitewash at White City…

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Cometh the hour: the nation needs Mandelson on Strictly Come Dancing

17/11/2010, 10:00:11 AM

Today, Uncut launches our campaign to end a cruel injustice:  “Mandy4Strictly”.

Widders. Cable. Both invited by the national broadcaster to grace (we use the term in its loosest sense), the stage of Strictly Come Dancing.

But there is, it seems, to be no place for the people’s party. No shadow cabinet member, nor Labour back bencher, will be slapping on the fake tan, or donning the sequins. At least not in public. Strictly, is to remain a Labour free zone.

Uncut will not stand idly by. We have rights. We were not born in chains. We choose to tango, jive and rumba on our feet, rather than live on our knees.

There is one man with poise, grace and elegance to lead us to our Canaan, (The Tower Ballroom, Blackpol). That man is former Labour party communications director, European commissioner, secretary of state for business and Uncut contributor, Peter Mandelson.

For too long he has lived in the darkness. Now is the time for him to step into the light. Tony Blair said his mission would not be complete until the Labour party had learned to love Peter. Uncut’s mission will not be complete until the entire nation takes him to its heart.

Write. Phone. Lobby. Petition. Spread the word. “Mandy4Strictly”.

We put the BBC on notice. We are the people who forged the welfare state. Rebuilt a country bloodied but unbowed by nazi bombs.

Mandy shall have his moment. We shall have our moment. We will not be denied.

Mandy4Strictly. Yes we can-can.

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