A Blairite, a Brownite and an Corbynite walk into a pub. “Hi Andy, what are you having,” says the barman. Its a joke so lame it staggers in on calipers. The Prime Minister’s party critics have long sought to portray Andy Burnham as inherently insubstantial. A chameleon wearing flip-flops.
But Burnham has now had the last laugh. Being fleet of foot (sans flip-flops), has certainly worked out for him in the end. Essentially, he’s a classic old-right-wing Labour pragmatist. Economically a bit left-wing, socially a bit right-wing is a pretty decent centre-of-gravity for the British public.
Meanwhile the post-Blair Blairites who took the brunt of his Corleonean reshuffle are now a depleted lot. Memorably it is they, not Burnham, who went to the pub. None of them has The Master’s chutzpah or his feel for politics and it seems few of them will reemerge as significant players any time soon.
It’s worth noting Burnham’s sheer ruthlessness when the top job was finally his. He has never before had a reputation for doing the rough stuff. Niceness is Andy Burnham’s superpower. Clearly, he now speaks softly but carries a big stick – with a nail in the end. Andy the sweet-natured assassin. As Andrei Gromyko noted of Gorbachev, he has a nice smile but iron teeth.
Burnham has been consistently underrated. He was content to take criticism for being all things to all people and assume whatever positions were needed to remain relevant in Labour politics, but clearly he has been working on shaping his own agenda.
A combination of devo max, active redistribution and prioritising working-class lives, together with some red lines on issues like rough sleeping, which he regards as a moral test of the state’s capacity to deliver social goods.
Already, we are much closer to the definition of ‘Burnhamism’ than we ever were with Starmer. Similarly there are a phalanx of club-wielding Burnhamites ready to do battle for their man. Being a ‘Starmerite’ was to risk being confused for an item of executive luggage.
All of which means Burnham is the only game in town. He cannot plausibly be replaced, however things pan out over the next three years. And no-one is much interested in noises-off from displaced Starmer-era voices.
Only a Burnhamite walks into the pub these days.
