Posts Tagged ‘Dan Hodges’

The drawing-room Jihadists of the “fairer votes” campaign have won

22/02/2011, 12:00:05 PM

by Dan Hodges

Stop all the clocks. Put away the ballot boxes. Shutter the polling stations.

The great AV debate, which has raged across the land for the last couple of months, is over. The gods have spoken. Thou shall vote yes.

It was fun while it lasted. Actually, it wasn’t. I’ve fought Tories, and wrestled power from their cold dead hand. Been head to head with Liberal Democrats who know more dirty tricks than a Watergate burglar. I’ve even gone up against fascists; real honest to goodness, “Adolf, ‘gord bless ‘im, great lad, little misunderstood”, fascists.

But I’ve never witnessed such a wave of self-righteous, intolerant, self-obsessed,  moral indignation as that cascading from supporters of the Yes to Fair Votes campaign. In fact, Yes to Fair Votes isn’t a campaign. It is a constitutional Jihad.

Leader of the crusade is a man called Jonathan Bartley. He has been prosecuting it with a messianic  fervour. In December, he kicked off by writing the following:

“Once in a while, the church gets a chance to atone for its sins. The referendum on the alternative vote (AV) for Westminster elections is a golden opportunity to demonstrate that, unlike the church of 100 years ago, which opposed the suffragettes, it will back the campaign for a fairer electoral system. The episcopal purple should not be of a notably different hue from that worn either by today’s campaigners, or the women pioneers of the early 20th century. There is a strong theological and ethical rationale for voting for reform”.

Many thought the referendum on AV would be about whether or not we need a new way of counting votes. Nothing so prosaic. According to Yes, whether we put a single preference by an electoral candidate, or rank them in order, is a decision of the same moral magnitude as the emancipation of women. (more…)

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Volunteering’s a means, not an end. Charities should get elected or get stuffed.

15/02/2011, 09:13:48 AM

by Dan Hodges

Private Eye editor, Ian Hislop, was once asked for his view on  an upcoming libel case involving Mohammad Al Fayed and Neil Hamilton. “I hope they both lose”, was his response. I’ve got the same feeling about the unfolding debate about the “big society”.

There are times at the moment when attempting to analyse  British politics feels a bit like analysing the Mad Hatter’s tea party:

“’Have some wine’, the March Hare said in an encouraging tone. Alice looked all round the table, but there was nothing on it but tea. ‘I don’t see any wine’, she remarked. ‘There isn’t any’, said the March Hare. ‘Then it wasn’t very civil of you to offer it’, said Alice angrily”.

Or, with apologies to Lewis Carroll:

“The prime minister announced, with a flourish, his ‘big idea’. ‘Our purse is empty. But do not worry. The voluntary sector will shoulder the burden’. The volunteers looked up with a start. ‘But we can’t. You’ve taken all our money as well’, they cried. ‘Taken your money’? replied the prime minister, ‘But I thought you were volunteers’? ‘We are’, they responded, ‘and we expect to be well paid for it’”.

Perhaps my analogy is a touch harsh. Our nation’s voluntary and charitable sectors are not the equivalent of Mohammed Al Fayed. And no one is the equivalent of Neil Hamilton. (more…)

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The week Uncut

12/02/2011, 02:00:57 PM

In case you missed them, these were the best read pieces on Uncut in the last seven days:

John Woodcock declares his love for New Labour

Atul Hatwal introduces his shadow cabinet goal of the month

Dan Hodges wants to know why we tolerate these preachers of hate

John Hannatt says raising the state pension age will hit the hard-working

Tom Watson reports back from Barnsley

Ruth Lister asks, should compass open up it’s membership?

Dan McCurry says the Palestinians won’t find peace through bloodshed

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Why do we tolerate these preachers of hate? Because we are British.

08/02/2011, 07:00:22 AM

by Dan Hodges

Sitting in a Luton hotel room on Saturday, listening to members of the English Defence League chanting boastfully, and slightly implausibly, about how they had, “fucked all of Allah’s wives”, my thoughts drifted to the issue of multiculturalism. Being surrounded by a couple of thousand tanked up Islamaphobes can do that to you.

My musings were given structure by the words of David Cameron, delivered that morning to the Munich security conference. British prime ministers have a poor record of departing that particular German city with the security of their nation enhanced, and I perused his speech with some scepticism. Once I’d finished it, scepticism had changed to bewilderment.

There must be a reason why the queen’s first minister chose to deliver a speech on the perils of Islam on the day a significant number of her subjects descended on a town with a large Muslim population and malice in their hearts. It was just that at that moment, as the first beer bottles started to land, and the riot squad began to don their helmets, I couldn’t for the life of me think of one. (more…)

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Why are we wasting time and police resources on phone hacking?

01/02/2011, 11:30:10 AM

by Dan Hodges

Westminster is gripped by a strange madness. Last week it was announced that the economy is teetering on the brink of the precipice, a swathe of cuts are set to scythe through every community in the land and that the 350th British life had lain down for its country in Afghanistan.

But what is dominating our political discourse? Phone-hacking. The hunt to uncover which journalists eavesdropped on the mobile messages of which politicians and minor celebrities. This is now the burning issue of our age.

We are witnessing the car crash of the British establishment. Our MPs are piling into the media. The media are piling into the police. The police are piling into everyone. All the while the public are gliding slowly by watching, with incomprehension, the unfolding spectacle.

On the surface, the hacking controversy raises important issues. Laws have been broken. The privacy of public figures invaded. There are questions over the integrity of senior police officers.

These matters should not be taken lightly. But nor should they be whipped into a frenzy of rumour, speculation and accusation. (more…)

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Ed Cojones: is he really Zorro, or is he Don Diego Vega?

25/01/2011, 07:00:31 AM

by Dan Hodges

Just when did Ed Balls become Ed Cojones? What was the time, date and place we first set eyes on the dashing, marauding, Cordobes-clad  conquistador?

There are few clues in his childhood. He was born in Norfolk. Very flat, Norfolk.  He attended a private, all boys school, where he reportedly enjoyed the violin. Bit girly, the violin.

At Oxford, he studied PPE, and then went on to Harvard. All very Ivy League. Finally, he came home and joined the Financial Times. Not much by way of tits, sport and Freddie Starr’s hamster at the FT.

Let’s not beat around the bush. Ed Balls has the biography of a wimp. A number-crunching, classical music-playing, pretty boy from the sticks.

Now contrast with some of the headlines from the weekend. “Ed Miliband’s rottweiler Ed Balls”;  “Ed balls loves to knee cap his opponents”; “Ed Balls; aggressive, passionate, smart”.

Where did this guy spring from? How did Don Diego Vega turn into Zorro? (more…)

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The week Uncut

22/01/2011, 02:00:45 PM

In case you missed them, these were the best read pieces on Uncut in the last seven days:

Uncut brings you the Johnson resignation and Balls promotion

Alan Johnson for the life and for the leaving of it – bravo!

Alex Hilton claims only electoral reform can save democracy in his Uncut debut

Dan Hodges thinks the NHS reforms are Cameron’s operation Barbarossa

Tom Harris’ frank open letter to the boss (Ed not Bruce)

Tory MP and all round comedy character Chris Kelly hits back at Cry baby jibes

John Spellar wants Labour to worry about the real middle

The Uncut editorial: neither Cameron nor Coulson are the real story

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Ruthless, brutal, heartless: our attacks are music to Tory ears

15/01/2011, 10:23:16 AM

by Dan Hodges

The trouble with politics is there’s never a ragin’ Cajun around when you need one.

Ed Miliband has begun the New Year by springing from his corner with the speed and ferocity of Jake LaMotta. Cameron and Clegg have been pinned to the ropes as the punches rain down. VAT. Banker’s bonuses. Oldham. One killer blow and they’ll be eating canvass.

But something’s holding Raging Ed back. The final hay maker feels heavy in the glove. For some reason, he can’t quite put them down.

James Carville would know the reason.  Bill Clinton’s campaign manager had the answer to every political conundrum. And it was the same answer.  “It’s the economy, stupid”.

Ever since the graphic, “Conservatives retain Basildon”, flashed across our television screens that cold morning in 1992, Labour strategists have held one truth to be self evident. The party that is not trusted to run the economy will not be entrusted with running the country.

Bill Clinton’s election victory later that year confirmed it. For the first time for over two decades a progressive party had taken on the right, and bested them, by selecting the economy as their battleground. As we watch Barack Obama move to heal his nation, and look back wistfully at three consecutive election wins, it’s easy to forget the significance of that victory.

But some have forgotten. To them it’s no longer “the economy stupid”. Now, it’s “the cuts stupid”. Polly Toynbee’s “red carpet of opportunity” lies enticingly before us. As the Tory led coalition scythes through our public services a terrified electorate prepares to leap gratefully into the arms of their Labour protectors.

Possibly. The Lib Dem’s are already in free fall as a result of their cynical act of appeasement. The Tories cannot indefinitely defy the laws of political gravity. Ultimately, the cuts will take a toll of the architects as well as the victims.

But a word of warning: if we have learnt anything about this Government it is that their callousness is underpinned by a low cunning. Cameron and Osborne are not fools. They have a strategy. And we are playing to it.

Ruthlessness implies competence. Brutality; strength. Heartlessness; decisiveness. (more…)

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The week Uncut

08/01/2011, 02:30:23 PM

In case you missed them, these were the best read pieces on Uncut in the last seven days:

David Cameron forgets his candidates name in Oldham East & Saddleworth

Tom Watson reveals details of the secret Lib Dem “Operation Detach”

Sally Bercow says Dave’s bottle-out on fox hunting is a broken pledge to cheer

New evidence brings new questions  for the director of public prosecutions

David Seymour asks: where is the left when the country needs it?

Lib Dem candidate would have unsuccessfully lobbied himself on tuition fees

Dan Hodges brings us a personal tale of unrequited love

Kevin Meagher reckons Cameron’s a class act & it’s high time we took him out

Atul Hatwal thinks BAME Labour is a waste of everyone’s time

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One Emile Heskey

07/01/2011, 09:44:50 AM

by Dan Hodges

Since embarking on an illustrious career as Uncut’s contributing editor I have been in receipt of  numerous queries from our discerning readership. Excluding the occasional request for me to combine sex with travel, the top three, in reverse order are: “What does the contributing editor actually do”, “When are you going to lay of Ed Miliband” and “Why do you have a Twitter avatar of Frank Bruno being chased by a long haired Scott Baio”?

The answers are: “I have no idea”, “Probably not for a while yet, though things are looking a little more promising”,  and, “that’s not Frank Bruno, it’s the footballer Emile Heskey, and he’s not being chased by Scott Baio, it’s Steve McManaman. Although at that stage in his international career, Scott Baio would probably have proved more effective at delivering a final ball into the box”. (more…)

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