David Mirrorband’s banana

As momentum starts to shift towards David M in our breathlessly exciting leadership contest, word reaches Uncut of tortured deliberations in the offices of the Daily Mirror. Their inclination to break for the elder statesman of the Miliband clan is, we understand, being tempered by painful memories of the 2008 ‘bananagate’ debacle.

This, you will recall, was when the Mirror produced a  major profile piece extolling the virtues of the then foreign secretary as part of a carefully choreographed leadership challenge, only for their support to be undermined by his arrival at conference wielding a banana, rather than a knife, and professing his undying loyalty for Gordon Brown and all his works.

Given that the Mirror is now the only Labour-supporting daily in the land, and is regarded as the greatest editorial prize by all five leadership contenders, the results of this soul searching may have a significant impact on the outcome of the contest.

Sources say that the clever money is on the paper finally taking the plunge for DM, though a commitment to avoiding yellow herbaceous plants of the genus Musa is likely to be the price of their endorsement.

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