Conference diary II: Sunday night and Monday morning

As Ed Miliband prepares for the speech of his life tomorrow, Uncut understands that he has  received support from a surprising quarter. Team Ed has asked for – and been granted – a copy of the speech David had prepared in the event of his own victory. Uncut assumes that, as we write, Ed’s wordsmiths are beavering away, frantically translating David’s words into fluent human.

Good luck guys. And be grateful you didn’t just beat John Prescott.

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Uncut bows to none in our admiration for that legendary storm-trooper of spin, Charlie Wheelan. But we understand that Charlie’s claim to have personally switched half a dozen MPs to Ed Miliband in the final days of the campaign may be something of a smoke screen. Uncut has it on good authority that it was not Charlie, but Gordon Brown himself, who was hitting the phones for Ed in the last fortnight of polling. Having kept a dignified distance from proceedings, the interventions of Tony Bair and Peter Mandelson are believed to been the spur Gordon needed to enter the fray.

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Ed Miliband leader. Ed Balls shadow chancellor. Nick Brown Chief Whip. Will reports of the death of the Brownites turn out to have been exaggerated?

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While we at Unuct retain our affection for Charlie, the same cannot be said of some of his brothers in the movement. Two senior trade unions officials we spoke to yesterday were slightly miffed at the suggestion that CW single-handedly won it for their man.

“What’s Charlie doing”? asked one. “He’s out of control”.

“You know what he’s doing”, replied the other: “He’s got a book to plug”.

Too true. And Uncut expects a corker.

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As Ed Miliband continues his victory tour, the intense figure of Mike Joslin can be seen ploughing the road as point man. Uncut has two words of advice for this intrepid staffer: slow down. You’ll get there. And smile. You’re doing a great job, and you’ve won. Enjoy it.

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One Response to “Conference diary II: Sunday night and Monday morning”

  1. James Williams says:

    So will Burnham be Shadow Home Sec. ?

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